Free Daily Headlines :

  • COVID-19
  • Money
  • Election 2020
  • Politics
  • Education
  • Health
  • Justice
  • More
    • Environment
    • Economic Development
    • Gaming
    • Investigations
    • Social Services
    • TRANSPORTATION
  • Opinion
    • CT Viewpoints
    • CT Artpoints
DONATE
Reflecting Connecticut’s Reality.
    COVID-19
    Money
    Election 2020
    Politics
    Education
    Health
    Justice
    More
    Environment
    Economic Development
    Gaming
    Investigations
    Social Services
    TRANSPORTATION
    Opinion
    CT Viewpoints
    CT Artpoints

LET�S GET SOCIAL

Show your love for great stories and out standing journalism
CT VIEWPOINTS -- opinions from around Connecticut

A visit from St. LaPierre

  • CT Viewpoints
  • by Martin Walsh
  • December 24, 2018
  • View as "Clean Read" "Exit Clean Read"

‘Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the bunker,
alarm codes were set;
we were ready to hunker.
The children were nestled
all snug in their cots
and protected by spring guns.
(Each held 17 shots.)

Our holsters were hung
by the bedstead with care,
with hopes that St. LaPierre
soon would be there.
I with my A.K.
and Mama with her Glock
were loaded for bear
with our safeties unlocked.

When out in the street
we heard rat-tat-a-tatta
so we dove ‘neath the window
to avoid being splattered.
The gunfight went on
in the new fallen snow,
until the combatants
all were laid low.

My Armasight scope,
with its laser light glowing,
made it easy to see
even though it was snowing.
And seeing no movement
below by and by,
I swung the scope up
to the moonlit night sky.

When what to my wondering eyes should approach
but a hearse drawn by horses, an old funeral coach.
And the driver up top wildly whipping the steeds,
in order to get to his evening’s vile deeds.

With a clatter of hooves the juggernaut neared,
and the man called his team in a voice that I feared,
“Now Charleston, Now Newtown, Aurora, San Ysidro–
On Columbine, Blacksburg and San Bernardino!”

On the side of the hearse as it barreled on by,
in dripping red letters was scrawled S-L-A-Y.
That struck me as strange, though I can’t give the reason;
is there another conveyance that flies at this season?

One whose driver is bent on a merrier mission,
than that of this homicide obsessed mortician?
As I whiled on such musings I heard a loud “Boom”
and a cloud of gray ashes engulfed the whole room!

I looked toward the hearth and to my surprise,
there stood the hearse driver rubbing soot from his eyes.
He was dressed all in black, as in mourning it seemed;
at his hip a chrome plated Colt .45 gleamed.

The curl of his lip and the twitch of his finger
made me wonder if this was a great place to linger.
He reeked all of cordite and Duraflame log,
then he sneezed out some ashes and asked for a grog.

I brought him a Bushmill’s. He tossed off a double,
but I still had a feeling he might cause me some trouble.
His cheeks were all sunken, his eyes all ablaze,
his nostrils were flaring…He sure did look crazed.

He said,  “No one is safe ’til everyone’s armed;
if one person isn’t, we all will be harmed.”
I couldn’t help thinking, “This bozo’s insane!”
Then like lightning it hit me, “Good God, it’s St. Wayne!”

His hair was all tousled, his demeanor intense,
but his next act amazed me and has ever since.
He turned to our holsters and filled them up fine,
Smith & Wesson, Beretta and a shiny Tek-9.

Boxes of ammo and a silencer, too,
plenty of lead for the hardware to spew.
Then he pulled a Sig-Sauer and held it up high,
“That’s the exact one I wanted and was going to buy!”

He said with a chuckle, “St. LaPierre sees all…
It’s cocked, loaded and ready, so go have a ball!”
“But where could I use it at this time of night?”
“Don’t worry,” said Wayne, “I’ve considered your plight!”

“And thanks to the Kochs and the great G.O.P.
we have Stand Your Ground laws!” he announced with great glee.
“So go pick a fight on a dark street, my son,
and when some punk resists you, pull out your new gun!”

“And then what?” I queried incredulously.
“Why, You fill him with bullets, obviously!”
“But I’ll be arrested, indicted, convicted…”
“Relax,” said LaPierre, “I can see you’re conflicted.

These laws protect you when you fire your gun;
unlike under old laws you don’t have to run.
You can fire at will as long as you’re frightened!
See how our right to bear arms has been heightened?”

“But I assure you we do not intend to stop there,
we’ll fight until access to weapons is fair.
The Second Amendment shall not be infringed,
whether we’re black, brown or white… or a little unhinged.

Yes, we want guns, but other arms too,
like planes, tanks and nukes to name but a few.
That’s a citizen’s right as we read the Amendment;
on our success self-defense rights are dependent.”

My jaw dropped in amazement; had I heard him correctly?
Civilians entitled to such arms directly?
It occurred to me St. Wayne just might be mistaken,
and with that my conviction in gun rights was shaken.

With millions of weapons across the whole nation,
it makes sense to have some gun regulation.
When I asked him about it, LaPierre was dismissive,
“I buy only from gun shows. They’re very permissive.”

I thought about Wayne and all he had said,
I thought of mass shootings, the maimed and the dead.
I uncocked the pistol, popped out the clip,
gave them back to the gun lord,
“Man, you wasted a trip.”

He scowled for a moment then bid me adieu,
and back up the chimney the maniac flew.
He leapt to the hearse, I heard his whip crack,
and team, hearse and LaPierre never looked back.

But I heard him exclaim ere’ he drove out of sight,
“Bloody Carnage to All, Have a Great Firefight!”

 Martin Walsh lives in Wethersfield and teaches U.S. History in Glastonbury. He is a veteran of the U.S. Army.

St. LaPierre illustration by Wes Rand.

CTViewpoints welcomes rebuttal or opposing views to this and all its commentaries. Read our guidelines and submit your commentary here.

Sign up for CT Mirror's free daily news summary.

Free to Read. Not Free to Produce.

The Connecticut Mirror is a nonprofit newsroom. 90% of our revenue comes from people like you. If you value our reporting please consider making a donation. You'll enjoy reading CT Mirror even more knowing you helped make it happen.

YES, I'LL DONATE TODAY

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

SEE WHAT READERS SAID

RELATED STORIES
For some transgender people, pandemic paves path to transition
by Carol Leonetti Dannhauser | C-HIT.ORG

The COVID-19 pandemic has given many transgender individuals the incentive to begin gender-affirming hormone therapy.

The struggle for racial justice and equality is far from over
by Marilyn Moore

On the eve of the annual celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday, I and many others are reflecting on what recently transpired at the U. S. Capitol and how it relates to the injustices that Dr. King and so many others fought to change so many years ago. It is obvious that our nation's fight for racial justice and equality is far from over. In fact, it continues to this day.

The mentoring circle: Supportive relationships across generations
by Josiah H. Brown

January is Mentoring Month, January 17 International Mentoring Day — with the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday a day of service. 

Evidence not clear that Trump incited Capitol destruction
by Alan Calandro

Defending President Donald Trump is not popular and I have no interest in writing this other than adherence to truth. Recognizing the truth (if we can find it, which is not always possible of course) should make us be able to come together around that and move on with a common understanding.

Securing our nuclear legacy: An open letter to President-elect Joe Biden
by Erik Assadourian

Dear President-elect Biden: As you noted in a tweet shortly after protestors stormed the Capitol on Wednesday, “Today is a reminder, a painful one, that democracy is fragile.” Indeed it is. And so are nation-states.

Support Our Work

Show your love for great stories and outstanding journalism.

$
Select One
  • Monthly
  • Yearly
  • Once
Artpoint painter
CT ViewpointsCT Artpoints
Opinion The struggle for racial justice and equality is far from over
by Marilyn Moore

On the eve of the annual celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday, I and many others are reflecting on what recently transpired at the U. S. Capitol and how it relates to the injustices that Dr. King and so many others fought to change so many years ago. It is obvious that our nation's fight for racial justice and equality is far from over. In fact, it continues to this day.

Opinion The mentoring circle: Supportive relationships across generations
by Josiah H. Brown

January is Mentoring Month, January 17 International Mentoring Day — with the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday a day of service. 

Opinion Evidence not clear that Trump incited Capitol destruction
by Alan Calandro

Defending President Donald Trump is not popular and I have no interest in writing this other than adherence to truth. Recognizing the truth (if we can find it, which is not always possible of course) should make us be able to come together around that and move on with a common understanding.

Opinion Securing our nuclear legacy: An open letter to President-elect Joe Biden
by Erik Assadourian

Dear President-elect Biden: As you noted in a tweet shortly after protestors stormed the Capitol on Wednesday, “Today is a reminder, a painful one, that democracy is fragile.” Indeed it is. And so are nation-states.

Artwork Grand guidance
by Anne:Gogh

In a world of systemic oppression aimed towards those of darker skintones – representation matters. We are more than our equity elusive environments, more than numbers in a prison and much more than victims of societal dispositions. This piece depicts a melanated young man draped in a cape ascending high above multiple forms of oppression. […]

Artwork Shea
by Anthony Valentine

Shea is a story about race and social inequalities that plague America. It is a narrative that prompts the question, “Do you know what it’s like to wake up in new skin?”

Artwork The Declaration of Human Rights
by Andres Chaparro

Through my artwork I strive to create an example of ideas that reflect my desire to raise social consciousness, and cultural awareness. Jazz music is the catalyst to all my work, and plays a major influence in each piece of work.”

Artwork ‘A thing of beauty. Destroy it forever’
by Richard DiCarlo | Derby

During times like these it’s often fun to revisit something familiar and approach things with a different slant. I have been taking some Pop culture and Art masterpieces and applying the vintage 1960’s and 70’s classic figures (Fisher Price, little people) to the make an amusing pieces. Here is my homage to Fisher -Price, Yellow […]

Twitter Feed
A Twitter List by CTMirror

Engage

  • Reflections Tickets & Sponsorships
  • Events
  • Donate
  • Newsletter Sign-Up
  • Submit to Viewpoints
  • Submit to ArtPoints
  • Economic Indicator Dashboard
  • Speaking Engagements
  • Commenting Guidelines
  • Legal Notices
  • Contact Us

About

  • About CT Mirror
  • Announcements
  • Board
  • Staff
  • Sponsors and Funders
  • Donors
  • Friends of CT Mirror
  • History
  • Financial
  • Policies
  • Strategic Plan

Opportunity

  • Advertising and Sponsorship
  • Speaking Engagements
  • Use of Photography
  • Work for Us

Go Deeper

  • Steady Habits Podcast
  • Economic Indicator Dashboard
  • Five Things

The Connecticut News Project, Inc. 1049 Asylum Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105. Phone: 860-218-6380

© Copyright 2021, The Connecticut News Project. All Rights Reserved. Website by Web Publisher PRO