Thirteen years ago, my world shattered in ways I never imagined possible. My son Jesse was killed in the deadliest shooting at an elementary school in U.S. history, Sandy Hook.
Like so many families who experience unimaginable tragedy, I was left searching for answers, for meaning, for some way to make sure no other child, no other family, would ever have to endure such pain.
In the days and months that followed, there was enormous pressure to join existing movements, to lend my voice to causes that were already loud and well-funded. I understood the urgency. I understood the grief. But deep in my heart, I knew those paths would not have helped my son. And if they wouldn’t have helped Jesse, I couldn’t believe they would truly help others.
I didn’t want to fight against something. I wanted to be for something. I wanted to heal.
Just days before Jesse was killed, he wrote three words on our kitchen chalkboard, “nurturing, healing, love.” He spelled them phonetically, in the sweet, imperfect way children do. At the time, I had no idea how much those words would come to mean. Now, they guide everything I do.
In the weeks after the tragedy, letters poured in from strangers; parents, teachers, children, and people who simply cared. One letter from a professor who had spent decades studying school violence stopped me in my tracks. He wrote that after all his research, he believed it came down to one simple truth:“If a child receives just fifteen minutes of a caring adult being fully present, truly seeing them, truly caring, that child can be okay.”
I carried that letter with me everywhere. I still do.
It’s true of us all. We all have the want and need to be loved. When children feel loved, they don’t want to hurt themselves, or anyone else. That belief became the foundation of the Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement™.
Today, Choose Love™ has reached millions of children around the world. But at its core, it remains deeply personal. It’s about making sure no child feels invisible. No child feels alone. And no child believes violence is the only way to be seen or heard.
Jesse’s life mattered. His message matters. And if we can honor him by showing up for children, with patience, compassion, and love, then his legacy will continue to change the world, one heart at a time.
Scarlett Lewis is the founder of the Choose Love Movement.