I just finished my junior year at Central Connecticut State University. My path to this point hasn’t been easy.

I lost my mom in March 2020, during my sophomore year of high school, and my dad when I was just 8 years old. Living with that kind of loss while trying to move forward in life and school has been an ongoing challenge.

There’s a common narrative that college is supposed to be the “best years of your life” (for academic and personal growth), but for students like myself and the many others who are grieving: It can feel like you’re expected to “wear a mask” and just “keep swimming.”

Family and peers often put intense pressure on us to succeed, pursue higher education, and be “okay.” But the path of grief doesn’t always allow that consistency. If I didn’t carry the constant desire to make my parents proud, I don’t know if I’d be where I am today. That motivation has been my anchor to succeed.

In an essay published on October 7, 2024, writer Justin Grimes put it well: “Dealing with loss while juggling school or work isn’t easy, and there’s no manual for handling it perfectly… Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and you shouldn’t expect yourself to either.”

Justin captures the truth that many of us know all too well: grief doesn’t end after a semester or a school year. It lingers, often returning in waves when we least expect it.

According to a student article from Purdue University, “40% of college students are grieving a death…Servaty-Seib’s research with grieving college students has indicated that students dealing with grief often struggle academically.” Students are silently navigating the emotional toll of grief. This statistic underscores that grief is not a rare or isolated experience; it’s a widespread issue affecting nearly half of the student population.

You never truly know what someone else is going through. There is immense pressure on students to be able to fit in socially, excel in their academic responsibilities, and present as emotionally stable, regardless of the personal challenges they may be enduring. We need more unspoken compassion in our classrooms and communities. Empathy to all. 

Whatever path someone takes, whether it’s finishing school on time, taking a break, or finding a nontraditional route, should be accepted without judgment. Remember, grief is not a weakness, and it’s a normal part of the cycle of life.

As always, with time, patience, and support, will come the final stage of grief: acceptance. It doesn’t mean forgetting or moving on. It means learning to live with the loss. It means learning that love can only grow stronger with distance. It means understanding that grief and love can coexist and that healing doesn’t erase the past, but honors it. It means learning to carry the memories without being crushed by them, to smile at what was, and to hope for what still can be.

In the acceptance stage, one finds inner power, peace, and the freedom to move forward in light and love.

Langley Marshall is a rising senior at Central Connecticut State University.